What is Your 41st Step?

Shabbat Shalom!

Last Sunday, our family bought a house.

We weren’t planning to. It just happened.

When we moved to St. Louis, the community quickly felt like our forever place. But the pressure of trying to find the “right” house, in the “right” location, at the “right” time became overwhelming.
Eventually, we threw our hands in the air and said, “When it’s meant to be, it will be,” and signed a rental agreement.

Then, this past Friday on the way to take Nora out of town to summer camp, we stopped by a house. We hadn’t even made it halfway through when Andrew looked at me and said, “This is our house.”
Nora had already picked out her bedroom.

While they fell in love with each space and imagined playing, reading together, and sharing meals, I was calculating and contemplating. What work needs to be done? How old is that roof? Is this enough natural light? Do I really love those kitchen cabinets? I was looking for reasons to hesitate.

Then I noticed the house number.

41.

Now, 41 is not one of Judaism’s most famous numbers. It doesn’t have the prominence of 18, representing chai, or 40, which appears throughout our tradition as a number of transformation: 40 days of rain, 40 years in the wilderness, 40 days Moses spent on Mount Sinai.

In Jewish thought, 40 often represents preparation, challenge, growth, and becoming. The 41st step is what comes next. It is the moment when potential becomes reality. The moment after the wandering. The moment after the learning. The moment when you begin to build.

As I stood there, I realized I didn’t need to keep searching. This was indeed going to be our home. This is our family’s 41st step.

I have said on more than one occasion that if you are open to it, G-d has a way of leading you where you need to go. Not always where you expected to go, and certainly not on your timetable, but often with a clarity that only becomes obvious when you pause long enough to notice.

Last week’s Torah portion (the one read after we found the house), Beha’alotecha, reminded us that the Israelites moved only when the cloud lifted, and remained when it settled. They did not always know where they were going next. Their task was simply to pay attention and be ready to move when the path became clear.

How often do we miss those moments because we are too busy calculating, worrying, or planning the next step?

This Shabbat, I hope we all give ourselves permission to slow down enough to notice.

Notice the blessings already present in our lives.

Notice the people who make a house a home.

Notice the unexpected opportunities that appear when we stop forcing outcomes.

Notice the quiet ways that holiness reveals itself in ordinary moments.

May each of us be blessed with shalom bayit: peace in our homes, harmony in our families, and a sense of gratitude for the places and people that shelter us. I look forward to many years of shalom in number 41.

And I hope each of you are able to pause, look around, and discover your 41st step.